I sometime feel rejected by the people surrounding me. After reading Jay's rage I cannot disagree with him on that point. Why I feel rejected without any apparent reasons. I suddenly find change in attitude of a person who was good with me. Is there something wrong with me?
Tell me, have you ever been feel rejected? if yes what you did or do to over come that feeling. What could be the root/cause of this problem?
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Thanks for encouraging words. But tell me really how do you face such thing?
well we all go thry this feeling at sometime or the other...we need to feel belonged somewhere ...and sometimes go to limits to 'join the gang' even if it means curbing ur ideas..thoughts and conforming to those arnd us..it is very imp to keep ur individuality intact...what matters is u shd feel happy... who are ppl to reject u? dont depnd on ppl who dont understand u..for ur happiness..
take care..and cheer up
I suspect that an inner conviction of not being good enough or "worthy" in the first place is the root of falsely percieving rejection. Not many people are completely immune to this, it happens to us all from time to time. Usually when we are at a low point, maybe hurting, feeling low self esteem for whatever reason.
Some of us just tend to feel unsure of our worth to other people in general. We may not feel we matter that much in the first place so it is pretty easy to assume that others feel the same way. (We tend to reject our own selves on the inside which gives us the assumption that others naturally reject us as well.)
This gives off the vibe that if WE believe we are unworthy, well, maybe we ARE unworthy, which causes people to pull away from us either conciously or subconciously. A viscious cycle.
How can we stop it? (Yes, I too, am not immune to this "percieved rejection phenomenon".)
I imagine no one goes through life without experiencing rejection on many, many occasions and in many different levels. Real rejection. Not just the perception of being rejected. If our self esteem is low to start with, rejection (real or percieved) hurts us much more deeply than someone who BELIEVES in their own personal WORTH. They know they MATTER whether someone else recognizes it or not. They find it easier to brush off and move right on.
I had a friend who rejected me suddenly and without explanation. It hurt. It confused me. My self esteem was affected. What did I do? First I tore myself apart trying to figure out what "I" had done wrong. (Yes, I automatically assumed the problem was me. Can you relate to that?) Then I decided to force myself to take steps towards forming new friendships with other people. Yea, the risk of being rejected again weighed heavy in my mind. But I did it anyway. It turned out to be worth the risk. And guess what? I am WORTH that risk!
They say love is not for the faint of heart. Well, neither is facing rejection and risking being rejected again. The important thing is...not to reject YOURSELF because someone else has. Push yourself forward despite the insecurity. To not take the risk equals a deeper rejection of your own self. That is the ultimate rejection. And I suppose the root cause you asked about might simply be answered by this: the problem is within, and it is SELF rejection. (I do hope that made sense since I am sleepy and spoke in circles.)
Thanks Sangeeta and Oliviah. I think my problem is that I make myself very comfortable with any person I come across. And I make the other person feel comfortable , I mean I am normally freindly and co-operative with all kind of persons. But many a time I 'feel' that it is not reciprocated.
I think it is my expectation from other person to reciprocate in same manner.
It is not that I am friendly or co-opeartive because to earn some obligations or favours from other persons. Infact I do such job where friendliness is not required.
But I wonder the way people react differtnly then my expections.
Again, I believe I am expecting little more than I should. I have read many a times and I am 'intelligent' enough:) to understand that many a times people may not react due to many reasons.
I believe I have not problem rejected because of my 'unworthiness' but I feel emotionally rejected.
Sangeeta and Oliviah thanks again for your suggestions.
*Sobbing*
I have nothing to say. If only you knew how I actually feel. Being deceived and rejected.. losing the trust I took years to build
Lose hope and ... willingness to live
I hate my life!
Addition
There is nothing wrong with you JV.. sometimes, we just don’t know what we have done wrong. And that hurts!
Sometimes I sat alone and think deeply “What have I done wrong to deserve all these”. Few hours I sat in the dark, but the truth is, we do not necessarily have to make mistakes to deserve rejection and isolation.
When I looked at other fortunate friends, I can’t stop thinking why I can’t be just like them. But on the other hand, I know they always wish to be in my shoes, simply because I am very good in hiding problems on my own.
And what if you are so ugly that even the other ugly people rejects you?
There were times I had, since childhood, when I absolutely loathed myself. They would be rare, though, and only occur once every year or so. Lately, over the past month, it's been happening nearly every second day.
It's difficult to love myself when everything points to why I shouldn't.
I have to tell you. I was dealing with someone at work and it started as purely sexual, however he made a point to say to me that he could not offer an affair. I did not go into this at all as wanting an affair it was sex thats it. I feel really rejected by that comment and he has told me I am beautiful that he still wants to see me but I refuse to let my self esteem get lower to be a sex toy for someone. So i am dealing by saying I am hot, smart and not rejected just to much for him to handle. You do the same!
feeling rejected is a feeling that commonly all of us go through
not once but alot o times in our lives ... sometimes we are too
full of it that our mind seems not to be accepting the fact that
we have emotionaly been hurt many times ...today i am writting a post
which indeed include myself for sure .. because whatever we
write , draw , liberate or expose is what we endevour inside ...
i have come across some people who say things which they havnt experienced
but whateva they have been through is just enough to explain anything ..and so whatever they say seems real pure and true.. their ability of sensing things around and feelings they have inside is so inspiring and so i wont
hesitate in calling them "true artists"... well i think if it comes on rejection ... i wont step back
if i have to call it a punch on ones face who s being rejected .. and the only
sad thing is that ol of us take that punch as a defeat a loss a grief which heads us
towards nothing but disorders and syndroms that surely leads towards death of
our feelings... inspite i personaly have observed that if that punch is to be taken as
a threat and an open invitation towards proving ourselves once again ..
its not the end of the world .. yes ! life s little but its still to be lived and
we aint living it in grief .. isnt it that we have had enough of it .. and if we sense someone
s goin to walk out on us we dont have to sit their numb and feel the sorrow throughout our lives
we have to move on too ...our minds are just like big toilet bowls ..it smells bad till we dont flush
it and just like that we have to wipe few memories from our lives which are a constant
embaresment and a constant breed of low self esteems....we for sure sometimes
want to run away .. and we ask ourselves at some point isnt it that its just enough and we need not to be rejected .. and
not to be judged anymo.. we have our self esteems we aint killing it then how can we let
others come and stab it ?and use it the way they want? how can we be so mean to our souls .. why is that the fear in our
hearts is killing our abilities .....fear has its beauty .. but
fear has a limit too ..even if the rejection is coming over .thats where we are suppose to turn
our fears to an open war that puts an end to self defeat ... there s a world that we v neva seen
and there are still hopes in our dreams regards amy
amy thanks :)
great post
How I deal with Rejection:
http://tmexperience.blogspot.com/2010/06/how-to-deal-with-rejection.html
Sometimes I feel rejected too. Actually, during the past few months it happens a lot.
My best friend used to be always with me, I had all of her attention. But then she made new friends and now, when I'm with her and those friends, she tends to reject me.
Imagine being in a group of 6 people (including you), in which one person is speaking (my best friend) and it just seems that that person is just talking to 4 of those people. I'm the 5th person.
It's stupid because she is always texting me with news and asking me to go out with her and friends, but then... it's just bad... and boring.
Well, life sucks sometimes.
What do I do when I feel rejected?
Normally, I don't do anything. But I think soon or later I will try to make new friends and... we'll see.
sounds like your friend is fake, a real friend wouldnt belittle you in front of new friends. I suggest you start declining her request for you to go out and eventually if she trys to confront you about it just kindly let her know the situation and that you rather not be in that situation but thanks anyways. If she is a friend worth having she will most likely try to make you feel more included in the group and be more aware of her actions
Well recently my best friend has gotten a new boyfriend and she has been ditching me and the rest of the group we hang out with to go make out with him. She got angry at me for telling her that I care about her and I am trying to protect her from her boyfriend becaase he is older and I don't trust him, she says she doesn't need help that she can handle herself. She is acting very cold towards me and I feel so rejected and upset.I don't know what to do anymore, my other friends are telling me to forget her but to me she is a very good friend and I care for her. She's so hard o deal with sometimes but never like this before...
I randomly feel rejected. And I don't like the feeling. I feel angry, guilty. Horrified with my own behaviour, whether I did something wrong or not. Life SUCKS for me.
Yeah u are all right, but the problem with me is that everyone rejects me because the think i am odd or sometimes i am mad. in the school no one talks to me although i am good at studies but don't have good common sense.
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO? I EVEN TRIED TO SUICIDE. PLEASE SUGGEST.
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